Motivation

Motivation can be a tricky thing during weight loss. For the better part of my life I have used food as a motivating tool for myself, and that obviously didn't work. I am diligently working on making food fuel for my body, not using it as an anti-depressant/tool for avoiding my emotions. Therefore, using food as a reward just isn't a possibility anymore and I have found multiple other ways of motivating myself instead. Today I am writing about just one of the many things I have discovered motivate me to lose weight.

I purchased a dress about 10 months ago (I had just given birth to my beautiful second daughter who is now almost nine months old) that I wanted to wear for the summer. Beautiful and flowy (or so I thought), it was a single shoulder dress that I thought would be flattering for my tummy, since I had just had a baby. You see, I hate trying things on and so I guessed which size I would need. I guessed a size 10, which was what I had been, pre-pregnancy. It was far too tight and clung in all the wrong places. I tried it on a few months later, after losing some weight, and it still looked far too snug. I just tried it on today. Not only is it not too fitting tightly, but it is LOOSE and flowy and YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY!!! I was so incredibly happy when I put it on today and it actually fit properly; something as simple as fitting in to a dress makes me feel like all the hard work I'm putting in is actually paying off!

I think, for me, one of the best motivational tools for staying healthy is my love for clothing. Let me start by telling you my closet is ridiculous. I have more clothes that I should because my tops range is size from Medium to XL and my bottoms/dresses go from a size eight up to a size 12 and all sizes in between. Why? Because in the past I have not been able to keep my weight under control and I fluctuated constantly between an eight and a 12. I never threw away my other sizes "in case" I lost/gained the weight once again. Which I did. Repeatedly.

As frustrating as it was, it was my own fault. I was only after temporary fixes, fast diets, and whatever got me instant results. Then I would inevitably "fail" at my diets and gain back all the weight I had lost, sometimes plus more. And by keeping my "heavier" clothes, I was giving myself the option to fail.

Not anymore. I know for a fact, that this healthier lifestyle is exactly that. A LIFEstyle. I will eat healthier for life. I will lead an active lifestyle for the rest of my life. And as soon as I reach a goal weight/size I will donate all of the clothes that are too big for me, because I WILL NOT revert back to how I have been in the past. I want to be one size and stop fluctuating.

My ultimate prize at the end of this weight loss is a new wardrobe. I don't have an exact weight in mind, or size for that matter, but I know I want to not be jiggly and soft. I want to have a toned, tight tummy (yay for alliterations! Yep, I'm an English nerd.) and arms that don't jiggle when I wave. I want to not have a double chin in pictures if they're taken at a weird angle (weight gain is definitely evident in my face). And once I reach that goal, I get to purchase myself a new wardrobe, full of clothes I'll be proud to wear! I can't wait to not have to buy shirts that "flow" at just the right place to hide my tummy; I am excited to be able to wear tank tops/strapless dresses without worrying about my arms looking too "soft". I can't wait to be able to take pictures with my kids all the time and be in home videos without worrying that I will look fat.

I love fashion. I love clothes. I love shoes. And I can't wait to have a body that fits better and more comfortably in to the styles I love. And that is one of the many reasons (although probably one of the more materialistic reasons I have) I retain for motivation along this journey to a healthier life.